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It was intended to publish an update on a regular basis once the web was up and running. However, life, as always, takes one by surprise and usually in unexpected ways.

In February I was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given one year to live. Many of you will, I know, have experienced the shock of being given such news.

I made the mistake of putting aside the shamanic law of living in, and with the "now", going with the flow of events, calling on the energies of the Cosmos. My whole being, (a concept which modern medicine seems unable to grasp), rebelled against the treatment offered. This was not what my body wanted. It craved for a treatment which respected the integrity of the whole person in all its parts, each dependent on the rest, all cooperating in the effects and their outcome.

Cosmic energy, the medicine of the universe, is there for the asking. It is like stepping into fire, dancing the fire, becoming the fire. This is the creative source of the wholeness of the universe, the healing power of the Cosmos. Leaping into the fire refines the body and restores wholeness.

This is the gift I received through my sickness, to be willing to receive what is freely given by the Universe and to use it for the good of all and for the highest good. Since this realisation was reborn in me, I have been well and strong, enjoying deep sleep and a tremendous appetite, both for food and work. The invitation to receive healing from the Cosmos is there for all to share.

From 1st September I shall again be in Guatemala, tracking the dream, fulfilling my task as a shamanic practitioner, as a writer and a storyteller. Should you wish to get in touch I shall be delighted to hear from you.

Greetings to you all in Spirit!

Emeliye Ulubayan Eaglewoman

A meditation on illness:

"Illness is not looked upon as an "enemy" to be conquered and subdued, but as an "ally" that can further one's spiritual evolution if its message can only be understood and applied. Of course, any idea that an illness can be regarded as an "ally" to benefit the sufferer is difficult for us in our sophisticated modern culture to understand, let alone accept, for we have been conditioned to believe that illnesss is a misfortune that overtakes us, and that we bear no individual responsibility for it.

"The crux of many problems lies in our current way of life, and physical symptoms are often the warning signs of a loss of equilibrium of the body, soul and spirit structure, which can be restored only when the disharmony factor has been identified and dealt with.

"It requires accepting the 'pain' of making changes to the way life is lived. And that requires a much greater skill on the part of the therapist than administering a pill."

Shamanic Experience [p.171]
Kenneth Meadows
[Element 1991]
ISBN: 1 85230 226 7

As I was struggling with the demands of my body against the treatment, I had a dream visit from an ancient one and this poem was the result which I share with you.

THE OLD HEALER

The sick one comes, knocking at the door

The old one sits waiting on the call.

Dried herbs scattered out across the floor,

The drum sits empty-faced beside the eagle's claw.

The sick one sits on a cushion by the door

While the old one sings and chants

And rattles ancient lore.

The fire glows fitfully in answer to the chant

Casting restless shadows, throwing shimmering darts of fire

Like arrows to the heart.

The sick one sits and the old one weaves

Spinning the art of reading in the heart.

When the pain is found and its founding is laid bare

The sick one trembles as the old one casts the dart.

The heart is pierced, the wound laid open,

The sick one dies and is soon reborn.

The old one laughs and retrieves the dart

And sits again in silence to await

The knocking at the door and the sick one's call.

Wishing you every blessing, joy and light
Emeliye Ulubayan Eaglewoman

There will be updates on Oct 21st, Dec 21st (winter solstice),
Feb 21st '08, Apr 21st '08, & June 21st (Summer Solstice)

email: lodestar13i@khazarsgathering2012.com